So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
