How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
