Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
