I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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