im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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