This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
