idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
