I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize