you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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