We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
