i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
