Whod you bang
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
