my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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