I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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