i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
