Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
