Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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