You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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