I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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