My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Boobs speak an international language.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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