This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize