eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
