was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
