My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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