Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
