Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
