kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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