i just had sex bonerless
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Houston, we have a squirter
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
