I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
