a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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