You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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