I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
