rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
