Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize