U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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