i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
