Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
