Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
