Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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