Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
