Your face is a jimmy john
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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