I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
