Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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