i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
