you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
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He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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