oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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