and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
