We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
