just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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