I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
