You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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