You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
