Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch

  (740): View more from Ohio

  enter at your own risk

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  (917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch (740): enter at your own risk http://tfl.nu/z8ud
  Replies (5) Good night (2606) Bad night (983)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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  (443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4
  Replies (8) Good night (1317) Bad night (2992)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

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  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4308) Bad night (1277)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  My lips are sealed. Both pairs.

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  (708): My lips are sealed. Both pairs. http://tfl.nu/26rg
  Replies (11) Good night (3330) Bad night (1118)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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  (512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh
  Replies (13) Good night (746) Bad night (2192)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!

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  (325): 3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches! http://tfl.nu/avjf
  Replies (7) Good night (2413) Bad night (978)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?

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  (303): I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream? http://tfl.nu/tu1k
  Replies (13) Good night (724) Bad night (1725)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

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  (604): You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him". http://tfl.nu/d338
  Replies (5) Good night (2376) Bad night (716)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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  (218): It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited. http://tfl.nu/4qpj
  Replies (17) Good night (2334) Bad night (697)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

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  (636): We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer. http://tfl.nu/h1wg
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (525)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?

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  (509): I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood. (609): That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do? http://tfl.nu/arvc
  Replies (7) Good night (1790) Bad night (560)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember

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  (630): I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember http://tfl.nu/77e3
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?

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  (406): were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong? http://tfl.nu/plyg
  Replies (17) Good night (463) Bad night (1104)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises

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  (617): You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises http://tfl.nu/wnpw
  Replies (1) Good night (833) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us

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  (847): He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us http://tfl.nu/4d1i
  Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (153)

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