she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The best revenge is premature balding
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.