I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf