Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.

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  (201): she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator. http://tfl.nu/ju6d
  Replies (70) Good night (1465) Bad night (8324)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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  (303): idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup. http://tfl.nu/dh7x
  Replies (39) Good night (757) Bad night (3627)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1883) Bad night (3615)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

  (206): View more from Washington

  do it. it's every man's dream.

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  (425): i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?" (206): do it. it's every man's dream. http://tfl.nu/a31t
  Replies (28) Good night (7310) Bad night (1023)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.

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  (352): Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot. http://tfl.nu/hytm
  Replies (6) Good night (3948) Bad night (1276)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing

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  (303): So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing http://tfl.nu/363h
  Replies (22) Good night (1514) Bad night (4822)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.

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  (505): Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/q053
  Replies (25) Good night (1767) Bad night (3354)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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  (402): My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself. http://tfl.nu/70br
  Replies (13) Good night (3436) Bad night (851)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.

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  (914): Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again. http://tfl.nu/50dk
  Replies (5) Good night (1510) Bad night (831)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.

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  (678): I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding. http://tfl.nu/gais
  Replies (6) Good night (1712) Bad night (594)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.

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  (574): I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both. http://tfl.nu/vmyj
  Replies (4) Good night (1352) Bad night (575)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party

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  (773): Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party http://tfl.nu/w5qe
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (461)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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  (306): I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him. http://tfl.nu/3qpq
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (306)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here

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  (630): and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby (1-630): Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted? (630): only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby. (1-630): Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here http://tfl.nu/fcdg
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (479)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover

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  (+64): Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover http://tfl.nu/478u
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (172)

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