I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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