And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?