they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
