Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
