two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
