Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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